Dear Blog ( Kind Of)
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Dear Blog,
I've been thinking a lot lately,
well especially since last night.
You see, there is a birthday party/ get together coming up
and
someone I finally got over will most
likely be there and here is why I was thinking a lot.
I was finally so proud of myself for how strong I was, not talking to this person, giving up, kind of pushing them out of my brain and life.
I didn't want them to affect me anymore, so I haven't talked to this person in ages! I could tell he didn't want to talk to me and I just had to take time to forget and get over the memories with this person because I kept on thinking -
Oh, we have a history - we are good friends
we are friends
oh maybe he really doesn't go on social media much
and I kept making up excuses for this person.
I kept making excuses in my head and to people, to the point where
I really started to believe it myself and I kept forgiving him.
I kept forgiving him because every now and then, he would say something sweet and because we had a history and I was head over heels for this guy, I was sucked in once again..
I kept getting sucked in because I did once have a lot of feelings towards this guy.
I wanted it to stop. I didn't want to delete him off social media
or make a big deal out of it because it was something I needed to do for me.
For my own mind frame and sanity.
Even though, his photos pop up on my instagram feed and his name pops up on my chat.
I just choose not to make contact with him because at the end of the day,
if someone isn't messaging you then they most likely are annoyed or you or don't want to talk to you.
It sounds harsh but it is the true, it is real and once you wrap your head around it all, it does get better - trust me.
You feel like you have your power back, you are making a stand for yourself and you don't need a guy to make you feel like you have power.
DO IT FOR YOU!
Whether you be strong or not, remember it is for you and if you want to get out of feeling how you feel, then I mean a change should be on the horizon.
It does get better.
Sure you may think of them for a blink of a second when you see things of them around but that is okay to.
Just be you, do you - love you and life will be great.
Just don't ever try and be anyone else, don't try and change yourself to be what you might have used to be when this guy 'liked you', be you - it is the most powerful thing you can do and your also moving on yourself so it's a bonus.
The reason for this post is because I may have to see this guy in a week or so at a party (if he goes) and I go. I admit, I'm a little scared because I don't want to go back to that place, I don't want to want to talk to him and I don't want to be sucked back in.
I want to be strong, it will be hard but it can be done, right?
I don't think I will ever be able to fully explain how I felt for this guy because I don't even fully understand the extent of it.
At the end of the day, you just have to treasure the good memories, just be glad it happened once or that you were close with this person once and be glad that you are at a good place now.
Writing this and being reminded of him has brought back bittersweet memories, of course I will always care for him and have a bit of a soft spot but I am stronger now and more wiser :)
You can get through anything, you know.
You just have to believe that YOU are better and deserve better and move on - I will say though that sometimes it takes time but
that is apart of the process:)
Be kind to one another! Be Strong! Love and believe in yourself!
Love N xx
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