Heya peeps,

I'm not sure how to start this but one thing I know for sure, is that I need to get this off my chest and writing always helps.
So, bullying at any time or age is not fun and not something someone wants to ever experience though it happens and its a shame that it does.
I was bullied through high school, from say grades 8 & 9, by this one particular girl (actually a few people but this particular incident was one girl) who I thought was my friend and lived near me and would come over and play, hang out ....until my mum and i started to notice some of my new clothes missing and seeing her wearing them claiming she 'got her own'.

Anyways, I was dating an amazing guy at the time, we will call him trevor. I liked Trevor a lot actually, he was probably my first real boyfriend and we hung out heaps, i met him at youth, he met my parents, he was great.
I think I liked him more than you like a boyfriend and I'm hurting from it now. Reason being, this girl who was bullying me thought she would hack into my facebook account and email my boyfriend, screenshots of a conversation that I was having with a guy friend that I met at youth, there was nothing in it.
I would never.
Sure enough I find out that my boyfriend has broken up with me and I was devastated. He mean't so much to me, it broke me. When I started to ask questions, he told me about the email blah blah and i honestly couldn't believe it. it was like my whole world shattered and I lost someone I could have loved or may have loved because of some stupid immature girl bully.

I miss him.
I still think about him to this day and note, I was dating him probably when i was about 14...im now 22.
I got a message from Trevor a few years ago wanting to catch up and stupidly enough I said no and turned him down and it's truly been a regret of mine since because he mean't so soooo much to me. I have seen that he now lives quite close to me and ah all the emotions.

Trevor has a girlfriend now and I would never do anything, he probably won't even see this but I feel sad and hurt and I miss him.

I don't know whether its because I never got closure because we didn't actually break up because we did anything to each other or because we stopped liking each other but rather got broken up by a girl.
a  bully.

At this point, I feel as thought if i bumped into him - i would cry.

I have this diary/ planner that I used in school which  I plastered with photos and everything as you do at that age and theres a few photos of Trevor and I,  though his face and body is scribbled out because I was broken, heart broken, I couldn't be reminded of him, I knew it would continue to hurt me if I saw his face (without the scribbles).

I'm going to add them in because its my blog and I feel as though you can relate this post to the guy more or the whole situation haha.

BUT EXCUSE MY LANGUAGE PLASTERED ON HIS FACE - I was heart broken and in pain, I couldn't stop crying. (At the time I might have agreed with it because he believed the bully over me but I dont think that now)

Like guys, I even used white out because the pen didn't work to cover him properly.

We do actually follow each other on instagram, so whether Trevor sees this or not - whatever, I had to let it out cause it's eating away at me and feelings are no fun..mind you, i've been holding back tears the whole time writing this post.

I still think about him.

He taught me how to skate, he went skating (cruising) with me, he was an incredible skateboarder, he was good to my brother, he was good to me. I miss his smile.

I will never forget him. uh oh here come the tears ha!


Whoever is reading this, please never let any bully or anyone ruin your relationship or bully you to heartbreak or get involved in your life.It isn't right and It shouldn't happen. I don't wish this sitauton upon anyone.



If you do read this 'Trevor' I'm sure you have figured out now that it's about you - surprise ha!




Anyways, from Natalia  - don't let the bullies win!