Dear Blog, Internet world, Any insightful people,

The topic for today's post is -
When you've never been in love but keep coming back to the same guy.

You see a few months back I thought that I had gotten over the guy I had a crush on...but fast forward back to now, I'm not so sure and again the questions revolving around love come to mind.

Why do I still feel this way about him?
Why haven't I gotten over him completely?
Why do I feel like I don't like him but deep down I do even when I don't believe it?
What is it like to be in love?
How do I know what love is?
Is loving someone, liking them for over 6 years?
Is it al just in my mind?
Do I feel and think this way because he sometimes doesn't give me attention?
Or do I feel this way because I have a feeling he 'loves' someone else and I
feel like I'm losing him even though    I    don't    even      have     him   and have never technically had him!?

I'm moving on with my life, I have an awesome job. I have met new people. I have had awesome opportunities arise. I earned enough to get the camera that I have wanted for many years. I am saving. I am a good person. I'm still so passionate about writing...
yet....one picture of him and I'm back where I started, one message from him and I'm back where I started, as if the way I feel has never gone away but just been pushed to the back of my head.

What freaks me out is that I'm 22 right - so technically an adult and people are getting into relationships, they are getting engaged, they are moving on.
what freaks me out and bobbles my mind is that, as an adult we should be able to tell people how we feel in an adult mature way, in a way where if its what the other person wants then it will happen, where you can find out how he or she really feels and can possibly move on if the heart allows it. I don't want to grow to 25 or older and not speak out about how I feel.

What frustrates me is that I feel like in 2016 guys still have that way of weighing on us, they are the one who makes the decisions like asking a girl out, I have never thought it is bad or wrong if a girl does it, like go girl - you're brave and I applaud you but I mean what frustrates me is if he doesn't message back yeah sure I feel down and sad and when they do message you, you feel happy, full (in a different way to life filling you up without a guy) and I mean,

for any guys out there, reading this or not - if you like or have liked a girl and they do or don't message back, do you feel the same as girls regarding getting a reply or not?
is it the same?

If it is then that is interesting and makes me feel so much better for feeling like crap when not getting a reply but my main question of this whole blog is - how do you know what love is???

I have had a crush on a guy for over 6 years, as you may have read about in other blog posts and today when he replied to my message I realised that I haven't gotten over him, the feelings are still there. Why have I liked him for so long and what is it?
I don't know its probably just weird and my brain thinking like a nutter but it does make me wonder.

Have you ever questioned what love is and if you're possibly, maybe experiencing it or if you are confused of what it may be? ...............or is it only me?! ha


From
Natalia xx

Lately, I realised that life is art. It just depends on the way you look at it. Right now, I'm sitting on the lounge, looking out into my back garden at the grey rainy sky, the dark green trees and making sure there are no snakes around...