I have never really been that open about how I feel in situations that include guys. Serendipity is still my favourite word, although at the time I truely believed that I had found something good without looking for it. In my case a person. At the time I whole heartly believed it and loved the word more.

Now in the situation, I truthfully feel like the something good (someone good) is gone and it hurts. I am happy without guys and I believe the reason I haven't found my happiness lately is because there has been a heap going on with my family.

Even though putting yourself out there is sometimes hard and can bite you in the heart, like it did myself. I think it's important to let how you feel out, no matter what. Be honest 100%!

Serendipity happened and I was really happy. I have never really thought of my smile being good but someone in particular made me smile like I never have before, but you know I should have protected myself more, because I didn't even have this person. I just fell hopelessly for this person and now I am feeling the pain.

I always wonder if when your chatting to someone and you seem on the same page, if you really truely are? Of course things don't always go your way because life is unpredictable, but if people are truely 100% honest, then would thing have been different?

I know when I chat to people, I am 100% honest, I am myself and sometimes it hurts but what can you do?
I realised lately that even when we are confident in our self and believe we are good enough for any guy, that even if we get hurt and something happens and we feel like we are not good enough. That it's just kind of like a process. Obviously as girls we wonder what we have done wrong, what didn't he like about me, What could I have changed, should I have been more reserved and not so open, should I have lied about my feelings and not been honest? What didn't you like?

I know many girls think it and I know that even though we have doubts, we always think things are different, that it won't be the same, that he is a better guy. But for some reason, the same or similar thing always happens.

I don't believe guys are all the same but I do believe they hurt girls all the same way, whether intentional or not.

I used to be one of those girls who thought I was the only girl a guy was talking to, I thought I knew when I had a connection with a guy or thought I knew how a guy felt. But I was wrong....

I wonder if, when people talk. A guy and a girl, things that have been said - what they think it means. I think it would be interesting as a girl to know what a guy means or think they mean when talking to a girl.
I think that only sometimes what a guy and girl think something means would be the same but there would be a lot that would be extremely different. I believe if girls knew, maybe it would hurt less in particular situations.

I feel that as a girl, we fall into boys traps a lot of the time. I'm not saying all guys do it but whether they mean it or not, talking to a guy who is not a friend, hurts either way.
Think about it, when you like or crushing or have feelings or love a guy, even if your in a happy situation, you still feel hurt. Whether it be, you just can't stop thinking about him, or he makes you smile like never before or something as simple as liking him.
And in a bad situation, where there is another girl, or maybe you misthought the situation or he just didn't like who you are or cheated on you or lead you on..
You know it all hurts and yeah, it does suck.

At this moment in my life, I know I feel hurt, I feel numb, My heart and insides hurt, it's the only way to explain it. I really wanted this guy to like me, he is an amazing guy. You see, it hurts badly but he didn't do anything wrong. There was just a better girl then me..he wasn't mine and I wasn't  his but it still hurts..maybe I misread the whole situation or maybe it wasn't mean't to be at this time in my life.
But I can't even explain how much it hurts.
I think I hurts more cause no matter what, you can always tell when something is different between a guy and yourself. Something doesn't feel right, they are different, even if you don't want to face or believe it, you just know and eventually the truth comes out.
You know, I thought maybe there was something there, I truely did and not in a way that I was forcing myself to believe there was. Even though I feel hurt, I still underneath it all believe I was right but I might not have been, but I guess it is something you will never know.

I think that even though you believe in yourself and are happy with yourself, there are times where you don't feel good enough or you feel down and wonder what is wrong with you.  But I believe that once you believe you are good enough, that it stays.

It is okay to be upset sometimes, it is good to let out how you feel cause eventually you will get over the situation or the person who you feel something for.
You shouldn't be ashamed to admit that you feel hurt or are upset by something cause at the end of the day your being honest and it happens, it's just life.

Life will get better!

Well goodbye for now world.
From Natalia xo