Wondering about you 

I don't know how to write this, other then start with - I often wonder about you.

Once upon we started talking and on my side, things were great. I loved replying to you, I got butterflies whenever a message from you popped up. Figuring out what to say back was an adventure and a half but I felt happy with what I said back.

Your intelligence, made me want to better myself and improve on my writing.

Truth is, I really enjoyed talking to you. So much that it actually hurts not being able to message you.. 

I thought it would be simple, it would be easy, That I would just move on and get over our few conversations, even if sometimes I felt dumb compared to you.

It hasn't been easy. It's hard to see you online and knowing I shouldn't message you. 

I dream about you, I dream about us.

I wonder about you too.

How you're

what you're up to

where you're planning to travel next

when did your passion/liking for what your studying start/how

If you've ever thought about me to

what you're reading

etc

I shouldn't/can't talk to you because of the complicated situation and it's been hard not messaging you. I just had a thought though, unless you feel like you can't/shouldn't message me either, then you probably don't think about me, don't want to talk to me and I won't find out what the answer is ever because how ever I feel about you, how ever much I want to talk to you, I can;t.

Ever since this whole situation, I have been scared to think of you, to write your name in my journal incase my deep down secrets came out. But tonight, I wrote about you, I wrote your name for the first time, I'm keeping this journal as close to me as I ever have in my life before ha. 

It's been like a deep secret that I've been holding deep down in my chest because of the weird situation..

Soooo, I guess the thoughts of you will have to stay in my dreams...

I'm writing this because I doubt you will ever read my blog, so you won't see this and if you do, you will probably guess who it is about but i'm sorry I feel/the way I do, but to me, you're a outstanding human being.

From Natalia xx